Identifying My Needs
As a new mom, I've found myself in one of the most demanding seasons of my life. So much of my brain space is dedicated to taking care of Hayes, Peaches, and operating the household that when a moment of free time appears, I often freeze. What do I even need right now? Not as a mom, not as a partner, not as a business owner ~ but as Allison, the person.
I recorded a full podcast episode on this topic, including a breakdown of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and a reflection of my needs in each of the 8 dimensions of wellness. I also spoke to the importance of recognizing that your needs will change during different seasons of life, and that it’s okay to want your needs to be met.
As a companion piece to the audio episode, I wanted to share my personal needs here in written form as well. If it resonates, I encourage you to do this exercise for yourself too! Whatever comes to mind first is usually either something really important to you or something that's currently being neglected. It's a really useful framework to identify what's going well and what areas have been neglected.
My Needs Across the 8 Dimensions of Wellness
Career
Flexibility around Hayes's schedule and my own energy
Tangible, in-person work sometimes, not just behind a screen
Feeling like my work has real impact on people
Autonomy, leading others, and creative elements
Some variety but not chaos / strict deadlines
Short term projects, not long monotonous grinding
Environmental
A clean, intentional home that feels good to be in
Natural materials and a curated, minimal aesthetic
Proximity to nature or water
A small enough space that upkeep doesn't overwhelm me
Living in a clean, walkable / bikeable community
Spiritual
Regular connection to something larger than myself
EFT tapping, breath work, meditation and yoga
Open-mindedness about different religions
Time alone to hear my own inner voice
Communal sacred practices such as cacao ceremonies and sound baths
Ritual and intention woven into ordinary moments to make them magical
Learning to surrender rather than forcing outcomes
Financial
Enough security without sacrificing joy or life experiences
Freedom and flexibility over rigid structure
Earning and spending money that reflects my values
Low debt as a feeling of freedom
Romanticizing life through experience, not accumulation
Social
Deep one-on-one connection over large group activities
Regular alone time to recharge and compartmentalize
Being truly seen and respected by the people closest to me
Community without it being overbearing (still want privacy)
Hosting ~ having people over, a beautiful spread, sharing my home
Intellectual
An outlet to materialize my thoughts ~ podcasting, writing, creating
Learning something new every single day
Quiet, uninterrupted time to think and clear my mind
Conversations that go deep, not surface level
Environments that expand my perspective and beliefs
Physical
Variety in movement ~ pilates, barre, yoga, lifting, walking
Feeling strong and capable, not just aesthetically fit
More sleep ~ the postpartum fatigue is real and cumulative
Nourishing, delicious, pleasurable food ~ colorful, home cooked, never restrictive, as much locally sourced as possible
Emotional
Journaling at least every other day ~ daily when possible
A morning coffee and a few quiet minutes with myself
Permission to feel the full range of emotions without judgment
Honest reflection from people I trust, even when it's uncomfortable
A partner who can hold my emotions ~ I'm deeply grateful for Clay
